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The Secret of Balance
We often hear that nothing is perfect; and it is not possible for a person to have it all. Bob is so successful in his career but his family is a mess. Katie is very smart and full of energy. She works more than 60 hours a week but her mental and physical health start to go downhill when she is in the late forties. We start to think that it is normal to be that way: we can’t have it all.
If we look into the above scenarios more carefully, the common denominator for Bob and Katie is that they spend too much focus in one aspect of life. And eventually, they experience negative consequences in the other areas of their life.
To illustrate the negative consequences of the extremes we need to look into all aspects of our life more carefully.
The Four Aspects of Life
There are four most important aspects of life where each one of them is tightly interconnected with the others: Self and spiritual, health (mind and body), family and friends, work and finance. Putting too much time and focus in one area is a surefire way to create problems in the other three. When we have all four aspects of life at a balanced state, we have reached a state where we have it all because our life is in harmony.
Self And Spiritual – The Foundation
In the midst of our busy life, we tend to put our “self and spiritual” wellbeing at a lower priority level. In reality, this aspect of life is the most important foundation to build a balance life. The way we understand and see our “self” determines how we approach the other aspects of life. Contented self is mindful, aware of feelings and thoughts that lead to happiness; and those that need changing within, and not without.
Giving time to self is essential for physical, emotional and mental health. It reduces stress, provides more positive energy and eagerness to work on the next tasks in front of you.
Setting aside “me” time each day can range from doing activities that you enjoy, such as praying, reading, listening to music, walking, to practicing mindfulness or meditating.
Practicing mindfulness, or self awareness, actually should be the priority of “me” time. It gives us the opportunity to build relationship with our inner self, and brings us to spiritual wellness.
The path to spiritual wellness allows us to connect the dots between experience, challenge, and life purpose; and helps us find deeper meaning of events in life. It also allows us to feel more connected to a higher power and other creations around us. We have more clarity when it comes to making everyday choices, and our actions are more aligned to our ethical values and principles.
The more we become aware of our inner self, the clearer to see what needs changing and improvement within. As a result, practicing self awareness helps us reaching and maintaining balance in all aspects of life.
The Interconnections
The interconnections among the four aspects of life is so tight that when we practice self awareness, we can identify any imbalances before it goes too far. Below are a couple of examples illustrating the consequences of imbalances touching the four aspects of life.
When we put too much focus on work and money, we become too exhausted to spend time with family and friends, not to mention the negative effects on our physical and emotional health due to stress, lack of sleep or exercise. On the other hand, lack of focus on career development prevents us from cultivating successful career, which may impact financial stability and self confidence.
Spending too much time caring for others but not enough “me” time can lead to mental and physical exhaustion. Likewise, having too much “me” time without doing something productive and purposeful tend to make us feel empty and unfulfilled.
Life is a journey to grow and be a better version of ourselves. Learning to attain balance is a part of this growth. Keeping all aspects of life in balance is the key to live this life to the fullest. It is the key to having it all. Strive to find a balance and we will live in harmony.
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Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Who doesn’t? Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure helps us get through some tough situations a little easier, and a little less stressful.
The problem is, our society does not instill the importance of setting money aside for saving, let alone investing. We are taught at school and at home to go for higher education to make more money. But sadly, we are hardly educated to manage the money we earn and be financially savvy.
We often hear people making six figure income but still living paycheck to paycheck. When we are not financially conscious, it is easy to spend all or more than we make.
Social media certainly doesn’t help. We tend to compare ourselves to what we see out there in the society. Everyone seems to have all the fun and the nicest things; and we tend to jump into the bandwagon to follow the trend. It is easy to spend extravagantly on traveling and dining out, or buying those expensive bags or shoes.
How Do We Start?
Most people think setting aside money to save and invest is not feasible because they don’t make enough. That is not true. All we need is discipline, patience, and commitment, and let the power of growth and compounding work for us.
The easiest way to save is to automatically set aside money from our paycheck to a separate saving/investment account. This way we don’t spend the money we don’t see. If we contribute to a company sponsored 401K plan, the benefit extends to paying lower tax as the money we contribute to a 401K plan is deducted from our total income. Some companies even match the first 5 – 6% of our contributions, this is like free money going to our retirement account which is too good to pass.
Consistency Over Time Is The Key
The question is, how much to set aside and contribute to our 401K or other investment account? The best way is to start with a minimum of 6% of our salary or income, and then work our way up to 15% or more. To illustrate this, assuming a reasonable long term rate of return of 9% annually, for those who make $30,000/year, setting aside 6% and 15% each paycheck takes 50 years and 40 years, respectively, to amass to a million dollar. With $75,000/year salary and setting aside 6% and 15% each paycheck takes 34 and 24 years, respectively. This example shows that despite income level, it is very possible to be a millionaire when we save and invest consistently over a period of time.
Another question is, how soon do we want to reach that goal? The choice is in our own hands. When it comes to saving, it can feel slow in the beginning, it is therefore important to start as early as possible. The more we set aside consistently, the sooner we reach our goal through the power of compounding.
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Giving Respect
We often hear the word respect when we grow up. Our parents reminded us that we have to respect our teachers and older generations. Many also use this word as a demand, like “I am the boss! They must respect me!”.
The word respect is most used and understood by many when they feel deep admiration of someone because of his/her abilities, qualities, or achievements.
There is nothing wrong, and it is easy to respect others who have success stories. But what about everyone else who is still growing and finding their way in the society?
The most important aspect of respect is often forgotten, or less instilled in our culture. That is, giving respect to others regardless of their status and traditions; to those who choose different schools, degrees, professions and come from different background.
The lacking of this type of respect is one of the reasons there are so many relationship problems at work and at home.
At workplace, we often hear comment like: “those people from the other departments don’t know what they are doing!”. Many also feel that certain jobs are not as important as their own job. Lack of respect for each other create stress at workplace, not to mention lost of productivity!
At home, it is easy to criticize or disrespect your family members who do or like something different from you. In addition, the lack of respect often lingers between two generations who have different views due to generation gap.
Give Respect, Earn Respect
Giving respect is an act of acceptance; it comes from our thoughtfulness for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others, no matter who they are, what they have, or where they come from. Equally important, giving respect allows us to see and appreciate others’ gifts, talents, abilities and contributions. It is no surprise that successful leaders who give respect to each of the team member are able to utilize each individual’s talent(s) to the fullest, build a strong teamwork, and in return, earn full respect and loyalty from the entire team.
Give Respect, Less Judgement
Our nature often judges instead of respecting others because of their differences. The good news is, we can practice and consciously make an effort to look at others’ differences as something to respect. When we choose to give respect and treat each person as unique and special individual, we find that there is less judgement in our relationships.
This kind of respect in fact uncovers one of the secrets of happy, healthy, and lasting relationships. Giving respect to others no matter their achievement status is the most considerate and loving gesture we can give.
